"if you really want it, what stops a person from making it happen??"

Fear and money. Plain and simple. Most people don't have the balls or the bucks to admit they made a mistake in their chosen career and go get a new one.

Jeremy and I are living through the same thing you're describing. It's balls! Here are my thoughts, not necessarily all about you, rather in gerneal. I see 2 different things.

If Vince is willing to support you, and you're willing to give up the car you LOVE to drive and some of the more cuchy things in your life, I'm sure you could go back to school and follow a path more closely linked to your dream job.

On the other hand... (this is A point of view, with some harsher words for emphasis. Not what I'm telling you, nor what I think) You went through school once, you and Vince had to make a lot of sacrifices to get you both where you are today. Is it really fair to "piss and moan" about not being completely fulfilled? You made you bed, babe, lie in it. You've had your chance you made your decisions, and here you are. What happpens if you don't like your next job? What if you train your voice and never get into a show? Even if you try your hardest? Will that be fulfilling?

I don't want to be a downer. I'm trying to sympathize with you. I know exactly how you feel. I have a very good job, that pays me decently, where I play with small children and teach them about God. Why am I not completely fulfilled? Because they're preschoolers. I envision myself teaching academics, not social behaviors. But is that enough to get me the motivation to struggle against the public school system and go through the same shit I'm hearing from you? Do I want to become a "professional" and teach elementary school, or is being a preschool teacher and affecting these precious little lives good enough? And the biggest question of all: What does GOD want for me? He's keeping that secret under lock and key. He's not telling. At least not in any language I understand.

I have an idea. Let's start daily prayers for each other. We will both pray for direction for each other. When i pray for my career I feel like I'm reading a shopping list off to God. It's not working, and maybe He'll listen to you. =)

I love you Krystle. You're so strong. You can get through this.

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and He will make your paths straight. In all of your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

And this comment got out of control somewhere along the line. lol... *leaves the History of Magic essay sized comment for the things I should be doing* *waves*

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Well, first of all I'm surprised it was only 8 inches of parchment instead of 16. :-) Second of all, you are right, and that's what frustrates me! (Not the fact that you're right, but the reasons you are). Like I said, I really should NOT be feeling this way at all. That's why I don't understand it. Although, your comment did help. I think I just need to step back, and rethink my perspective on things. There really is a way I can still be involved in music, which I love, and still teach, because I love that, too. I just need to wait one year until CLIP class is over, and then join a community group. I was told by the school counselor that I really have a handle on things, and that the love for my job shows on my face. This was before telling her ANYTHING! She observed my room as part of a project she's working on to reach every child, not just the ones who are referred to her, which is incredible! She seems to think I'm doing well, and so does my principal, but I'm not hearing that from her. I'm hearing it from others who talk to her, which to me isn't cool. I only hear from her when I need to improve something, which is GREAT! But, sadly, I'm one of those stupid people who needs some reinforcement every now and then. You rock. I love it when you slap me around. You're one of the few that can do it without pissing me off! :-) Love ya, babe! Thanks again.

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